Widow...The most painful girl...Sometimes I wonder why these widows live their life in the hell. I'd so much admiration for that so difficult life which they don't want to live but one must follow the foot steps of their own culture, what a stupid conservative thinking...My cousin Bipin and I were really sorry for that. During our school days, when we were seventeen, there was one widow in my neighbourhood whose husband got an accident and she became widow at the age of 16.She was so special great smiling girl. As a neighbour, we got to know her so closely and she used to tell us all her predicament which made her suffer in her private life. The most one was, being alone.

It's so touching to listen this and made me think that without love life is so empty. About her life, actually, when she was just 13 and studying in the seven forms, her father's friend, who had made her daughter, Gita, now 22, to marry with the guy of his choice at the age of 14. He was in search of a young teenage girl to marry with his son for his house's work. He wanted a girl who could also doing all the works of house including cooking and her father's friends were very keen that she would got marry with his son. But my father had no intention to let her finish her study. He said,
"If your daughter wants to marry my son, she cannot sing or further study. I will not allow that." Her father wanted her to sing at least in the house but he refused that too after her engagement. A friend of his father also had told that,
"I want my daughter in law to stay with my son in a hut if he has only a hut; if there is no hut, she should be ready to stay under a tree too". Then he walked away.

Her father was there with her and he was satisfied with the arrangement because there was no fear or anxiety in her eyes (he didn't understand that she's a still child). She was to die before she got married. She tried to commit suicide in her first marriage because her father did not have money to pay as dowry and groom were nearly in the way of giving up this wedding ceremony. What an irony? Even after six decades, girls do commit suicide and the menace called dowry is still there. Bridegrooms are for sale even today! When they got marry, of course they might feel that they were doing something artificial. Nothing in appeared genuine or natural. Another problem with her was that when they had to talk somebody, they might really feel being asked to have a sex with that person. They didn't like the feeling at all since they didn't love that man in real life.

As far as Gita, she wondered what right he (her husband) had to hold her hands. She was only a small, innocent girl then. She didn't have the maturity to understand that it was a real and she was not asked to love him in real life. Even after having her wedding, she was more interested in playing with her friend than in working. How can a fourteen-year-old give more importance to work than play? She was just doing what the tradition and her father asked her to do. She had no interest at all in this marriage. After her wedding, she did want to study. Of course, she told her husband that several times. The problem was that her husband refused to leave her alone. Her stepfather picked only good respect from the village and only to fulfil his ambitions. She did everything for her father because she respected his decision from the heart. She was ready to do anything for her father. She didn't want to hurt him; she didn't want him to suffer also. Life is full of coincidence around the earth .After one year her husband died from the accident and she became so painful widow, as people used to say 'sinner'. She was expecting lots of love from her stepfamily but instead of giving so much love in these difficult days, they kicked her out from the house.

Time is the decent medicine of the deep wound. Moreover, love it comes in everyone's way in one day. Exactly what happened to her after one year of her widow life... Krishna, a good human being, she saw him in the first on the way of village. She was 21. She noticed that he was the truck driver and everybody liked him. He was a simple, quiet and unassuming man. She watched him, noticing him and slowly she fell in love with him. Poor man, he didn't know that she, the leading lady of the dream, was in love with him. She wanted to make her dreams true. To a large extent, I wasn't even aware of how the story of one widow was going well. Someone was comforting her, for the first time and she's right to start her life with someone. One day we made meet them each other and they went so long way that they decided to stay forever.

First we did contact with Guru of temple to marry Gita with Krishna but he afraid from the head of village and refused to do it by saying it's not allow. We became so disappointed. The following days, too many eyes on Bipin and me and were looking at us as we came from another planet and one kind of bad test man. We got to know that the Guru of temple told everyone about our proposal of Gita and Krishna. I'd a fear that after all these incidences; she might try to suicide again, so in the same night Bipin and I went to see her and convinced her that she should be strong. If it's not possible to stay in Surey then we'll find the solution to live another place but we admitted that she shouldn't give up her beautiful dreams with Krishna which she's been seen from long. She just could say,
"I want to live this beautiful life happily with my love..." In the same night, I was having a dinner with my mother and I really wanted to strong support from my mom, then I asked her "Did I do wrong, mother?" I was getting so emotional.
"Not at all my darling" She just got pleased from my question and said to me, "But you just can't change the world..." Yes that was a first thing I'd in my mind before I took this subject so seriously, then I said so confidently,
"I don't care about the world but I can give the support to someone who wants to build her own world 'love world'. She doesn't need any permission from this stupid society, it's her own life and she's full rights to live as she wishes..." I was getting nervous.
"I believe in you and I'm pleased what you've done. Love is like human eyes, without love, we cannot see the world. I'm always be with you!". Taking my hand she was smiling at me. I felt so peaceful to talk with my mother, at least she understood me and it was very important for me.

One widow seems to exclude from the society, considering as unlucky, wants to sort out her own personal problem, want to start her life, to build her new love life with so many dreams but her own culture comes in her way and destroy all her dreams....What nonsense? The culture doesn't make a human but human does make a culture, if the culture stopped to give any possibility to live love life then there's no any meaning of culture. We must abandon this culture. Has it somewhere written that! Love has nothing to do with culture) that a widow can't start her love life again? So shame...This is the mass of some minority high cast decides all the rule of humans love liberties. Who made themselves to create one their law to dominate the woman's heart? That woman, who use to give the every birth of humans to continue this world, The woman who is one little girl first (From her childhood to till her oldness) the teenager (give the help to her parents) then lover, then wife, then mother then grand mother), in all the characters, she uses to take the responsibility every stage of her life and in the end she is considered as one object, meaningless... I hate this conceptions. As much as women give so many scarifies in every stage of their lives since they were small girl to grandmother. Being a daughter, sister, lover, wife, mother and grandmother but why not any man? So shame...

I let her father knew about her love through her sister. When he came to know that she was very serious about marrying Krishna, nevertheless, she shocked her father by saying that she didn't want to see him since he was a very poor man in her eyes after forcing to marry in dirty family with guy she didn't love... That was the time her father was trying to regret what he'd done for her daughter. For the first time in her life, she couldn't disobey her father and strongly objected to see him. But he was so disappointed from his altitude towards her daughter. But again, what worried her father was whether anyone would marry a girl who had already a name of widow. Pundit convinced her father that everything depended on how we conducted ourselves, positive thing is the boy didn't have the concept of dowry, so there was nothing to worry about the wedding, otherwise... Finally, her father was convinced that her daughter would be very happy with this boy. Another reason, he did let her marry with this family without caring any cast. The wedding did well but people didn't appreciate her as normal woman. We were few friends presented in the wedding. Moreover, her father's ambition also was fulfilled, since all the time he was wondering about her daughter's life. Therefore, she wasn't force to marry with her second husband. Although she wanted to continue her education, she was not allowed to by the tradition. Even today, if a woman is good and successful and her husband won't leave her for a second.

On the contrary, I found all that very romantic; she started loving him even more. But he just walked away after declaring his demands. It may funny but for the first time she knew she would only marry him and she was very happy. To cut a long story short, the one-sided love affair ended happily when the lady who had adopted her husband decided to perform their marriage without her father's consent. None from her stepfamily attended the wedding. Instead of a hut, they stayed in a shed but they were extremely happy. She cooked for him, she kept the room clean and neat for him and she waited for him to come home. I found all these chores quite romantic. Once he was back, they used to catch the number eleven buses and go to see Mahabharata. Those were the days. However, many my neighbours might have feel so good or so surprised. Initially they didn't, because all of them knew the Krishna didn't like his wife called by widow anymore.

This seems rather surreal to me, talking about my life, experiences, thoughts and plans. And to tell the truth right in the beginning, what we want doesn't always work out the way we want them to. I've learnt this in the hard way. But, looking back, I'm glad those plans eventually did materialize at least with Gita. At times, we don't know what's good. The beautiful love story never ends. After one month, they moved in another city. Bipin and I went to give them a lovely company. They just said in the instead of good bye "Thanks for making us a part of your dreams"

-Written by Simon Rimal